Zolo's Blocked Toilet Pipe
by Oni Giri Slash
Summary: Just a short story about what happens when a particular swordsman goes and blocks the toilet. Who can handle the smell? Who can fix the problem? WHO? That’s when a rubber captain comes in handy!R


Zolo's blocked toilet pipe

A/N: Just a short story about what happens when a particular swordsman goes and blocks the toilet. Who can handle the smell? Who can fix the problem? WHO? That's when a rubber captain comes in handy!

**Just something to laugh about I guess?!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece**

Zolo pulled the flush again – nothing happened. Was the chain broken or did Sanji purposefully stuff the can up? The swordsman couldn't tell. What he could tell, was that the toilet was starting to stink out the room. He had to get rid of the steaming waste quickly. He scrambled to the sink and pulled out a plumber from the cupboard. Looking into the toilet, Zolo hesitated – was it hygienic to shove the thing into a mile deep waste pit? Not that he knew very much about hygiene, however, whatever came out of his unmentionable looked utterly toxic…and poisonous! Moreover, the plumb-thing was totally innocent; perhaps if it was Sanji's head he wouldn't be having any regrets.

The room smelled deadly now.

Zolo tried his luck with the chain. The brown slosh bubbled – was that a good sign? YES! The brown mass began swirling down the pipe. He let out a sigh of relief.

NO!

The brown-smelly-toxic stuff was rising. It was going for the rim of the toilet seat and it gurgled loudly, like Luffy's stomach. And putrid! Zolo clasped his nose and ran out of the room.

"USOPP!"

The marksman was telling Chopper about his close encounter with Lord Gravy, a ferocious man who took Usopp hostage before he knew who he was messing with. Just as he was going into a detailed account of Lord Gravy's dramatic defeat, he heard Zolo calling his name. "Ah, see Chopper, even Zolo needs to seek advice from THE MIGHTY USOPP!"

The swordsman crashed onto the deck and grabbed him by the shoulders. "THE CAN ISN'T SWALLOWING!"

Usopp patted Zolo and smiled kindly. "Now, now Zolo, why don't you tell Captain Usopp all about it?"

Zolo slung the marksman over his shoulder and ran him back down to the boys toilet. Chopper blinked. "Wow, Usopp must be _really_ important!"

"ZOLO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"THE LOO…! UGH!" Zolo stepped into a puddle of brown water leaking from under the door.

Usopp grabbed his long nose. "Ew, what's this pong…? It's toxic!" He looked at Zolo who gently opened the door.

"EW!" Usopp shouted, gasping for air. "CLOSE IT ZOLO! CLOSE IT!"

Zolo did so. "The toilet's spewing everything I did a mile high into the air!"

Usopp looked at the puddle at his feet. "You mean…THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

At that moment Luffy appeared. "Guys, Nami wanted to know what the smell is." He didn't seem too affected by the smell.

"It's the toilet," explained Usopp. "It needs unblocking."

Luffy placed his hands on his hips. "Why aren't you fixing it Usopp?"

"Can't you smell it Luffy?"

The captain took a deep breath, raised an eyebrow and replied. "Smell what?"

Zolo shoved the plumber into Luffy's hands and shoved Luffy into the toilet room. Usopp pressed his ear against the door and shouted to the captain. "YOU BRAVE SOUL LUFFY! CAPTAIN USOPP WILL TALK YOU THROUGH THE PRECEEDURE OF UNBLOCKING A TOILET."

Zolo frowned. "You think he can do it?"

"That," Usopp replied. "Or inform Nami on the situation."

The swordsman's eyes widened. "LISTEN CAREFULLY LUFFY!"

"Now," began Usopp. "Go to the toilet."

Luffy shrugged that sounded easy enough, he squinted through the green gas clouds and began wading his way towards the toilet.

"Are you in front of the toilet Luffy?"

Luffy nodded. "Yeah."

"Good. Now with your plumbing-thing, plunge it into the bowl and feel it stick."

Luffy plunged it into the brown murk. "Did it."

"Is it stuck?"

He pulled it…PLOP! And stared dumbly at the stick.

Usopp frowned. "Luffy, what was that sound?"

"I lost the end of the plumb-thing."

Zolo looked at Usopp. "What happened?"

"He lost the end of the plumb-thing," the sharpshooter informed.

Zolo clenched his fists. "Shit."

"Forget the end-thing, Luffy, come out – we need Nami to help us."

Luffy placed his rubber hands into the brown bowl. "Gum gum…PLUMBER!"

His rubber arms traveled down the toilet pipe, unblocked the Zolo-sewerage which was causing the problem and…

Sanji handed Nami an ice-cream sundae. "For the love of my life…huh?"

The two looked up as a fountain of brown-stuff, both liquid and solids flew fountain-like from the side of the ship. Followed by a green gas.

Nami clutched her nose. "What is that!"

Sanji's eye watered as he tried to filter the air through his hands. "I dunno Nami…but it's going to kill all the fish in the sea within a three-thousand mile radius…", he paused. "AND MY SOUFFLE!" He ran for the kitchen.

Luffy watched proudly as the brown-stuff drained down _his_ unblocked drain .He wiped his muddied hands on his shirt as Usopp and Zolo cautiously entered the room.

"Out of my entire life," gasped Usopp and he looked into the now-normal toilet bowl; "I have never witnessed anything as brave as what you did, Luffy."

Luffy beamed.

"Yeah," gushed Zolo – making Luffy to swell up more. "I never knew that someone who could handle my craps so well existed!"

The grin vanished. "What?" He stepped away from the toilet. "Crap?"

"Yeah," agreed Usopp. "You beat Zolo's waste…that's really b-…"

"NO!" Luffy looked at his brown hands. "NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU GUYS TRICKED ME!" His skin was turning green. He bolted down the hall, stripping away his clothes Luffy dived into the shower.

Usopp raised an eyebrow and looked at Zolo.

"What?"

"It's okay Zolo, I won't tell Sanji."

The swordsman twitched. "About what?"

Usopp grinned evilly. "About how you…"

There came a horrified scream from upstairs…

"Totally putrefied his beloved soufflé." Usopp said.

…and Luffy's voice from in the shower. "NO NO NO NO…"

A/N: No wonder Zolo's hair is green!!!!!! Lol! Luffy was incredibly brave! (Cheers)…are soufflés flattened by smell???? After Zolo's little accident I wouldn't have the stomach to eat it – just in case.

**Hope you liked it.**

**Reviews!!!**


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